L.O.E.F.

FRASER, CO — Team dweezerstein is still undefeated, still in first place, and still doing it without much drama. Sean's 138.06 was enough to beat Team LastPlacePony, 138.06–98.78, the lowest score posted by any winner in the league this week, for whatever that's worth against a 3-0 record. Josh Allen's 19.46 was his quietest afternoon of the year. Nobody's catching him yet.

Nobody had a bigger week than Brian. Olave You Long Time put up the week's best score, 166.84, powered by Jahmyr Gibbs going for 41.40 against the Jets, and came in roughly 40 points over what his own starters were projected to do, good enough for the league's Overachiever tag. He beat karatemark 166.84–137.60, the week's narrowest margin, and moves to 2-1.

Juan Wynn had a quieter kind of good week. Peter ran the week's most efficient lineup, 152.04 of a possible 156.34, a tidy 97.2%, good for the Most Efficient Manager badge and a 2-1 record. No fireworks. Just very little left on the bench.

Then there's Morgan. For the second week in a row, Nico Collins started for Team LastPlacePony. For the second week in a row, he didn't play, even though Morgan was clearly still working the rest of the roster. Full breakdown below.

Meanwhile, Kathy had the single worst week of anyone in the league. Her 81.42 was the league's lowest score, and her lineup ran at a league-worst 72.3% efficiency. A Steelers defense sitting untouched on her bench outscored several things she actually started. Separately, her roster saw four moves this week: adding Emmett Johnson, flipping him three days later for the Chiefs defense, then cutting both the Chiefs defense and De'Von Achane within hours of each other Monday night, with nothing brought back in to replace either one.

• Brian's win over karatemark was the week's narrowest margin at 29.24 points, the closest thing to drama in an otherwise lopsided Week 3.
• karatemark's 137.60 was the highest score by anyone who still lost this week, good enough to beat five of the league's eight teams, just not the one he was playing.
• Sean's 138.06 stands as the lowest total ever posted by a Team dweezerstein squad that still won. Progress, of a sort, for the rest of the league.

• Sean made the week's only clean swap, dropping T.J. Hockenson for Khalil Shakir.
• Kathy's week in moves: added Emmett Johnson, dropped him three days later for the Chiefs defense, then cut both the Chiefs defense and De'Von Achane within hours of each other, leaving two roster spots empty with nothing brought back in.
• clwiltgen swapped kickers, Harrison Mevis out for Tyler Bass.
• PVickrey turned over his tight end room, dropping TreVeyon Henderson for Terrance Ferguson.
• Liam put Drake Maye on the trade block and announced he'd settle for Lamar Jackson, Josh Allen, or Bowers plus a future third. Brian said he wished he had anything worth offering back.

Message from the Commish

To the membership,

The League Office has appointed me to represent Morgan in the matter of The League v. Team LastPlacePony: two counts of starting Nico Collins while he was OUT.

I had planned to argue that my client simply forgot to check his lineup. Unfortunately, the record shows that he checked it. He moved Kincaid into the tight end slot. He made other changes. Nico remained at wide receiver for a second consecutive zero.

Your Honor, my client did edit his lineup. I had hoped not to have to disclose that.

In Week 2, replacing Collins could have turned a loss into a win. In Week 3, the verdict was less affected. I offer that as mitigation and respectfully ask the court not to consider why we need mitigation again.

Other cases are pending. Kathy has two vacant roster spots, and Liam has placed a quarterback on the trade block with an asking price that begins at Lamar Jackson. I request additional counsel.

B. Kightlinger
Court-Appointed Counsel, L.O.E.F.